Reflections ...... 

Its been a while since I posted ..... its been a while since I indulged in clicking images for the fun of it and not as work. 

That is why when I was thinking of an image to blog about I had to think hard. Look through my archives to see what I could use. And I came across this .... I didnt initially remember when or where this was. And then it struck me. New year lunch I think ... at least 2 years back at Villa Maya. 

2016 was a good year. It had to be when it started out like this. The more I look at the image, the more I am remembering. We were at a small holiday at the Raviz in Kollam and had driven back to Trivandrum and stopped at Villa Maya for lunch. There was a mirror on the wall opposite my seat. Beautiful, elegantly ornate one hanging tilted on the wall. And through my utterly delicious meal (never been disappointed with Villa Maya so far), I kept looking at the mirror, my reflection and that reflected in the mirror on the back wall. I found the whole thing so fascinating that I froze the moment. 

Looking at the image now, I am so glad I did. This is precisely what I love about photography. The fact that an image can bring back so many nuances that led to its being. so many memories and thoughts associated with it. 

This was 2 years back but I am sure I will remember that day, the lunch and my fascination with the mirrors as clearly more years down the lane when I will stumble onto this image again. 

The idea of 'freezing moments' has always fascinated me and now I know precisely why .... to more beautiful times and more images capturing the spirit and memories associated with them ..... 

Of magical settings and wishes .... 

I have fallen in love with Varkala. Been there about 4 times already this year and going again in a few days and still cant get enough .... 

But the best for me so far was this day. Walking down the cliff to the beach we saw this man praying. I stood mesmerized fervently hoping that everything he was praying for was answered and somehow knowing it would be. The moment was so surreal and so magical and yet right there in front of me ... 

The light, the sun, the sand, the sound of the waves and water .... it was the perfect. 

I have always known but now I am convinced that it truly is Gods Own Country ..... 

The wait .....
We met him near the stream at the Living Root Bridge near the Riwai Village. His mother was busy netting fish in the stream and had left this tiny fellow to his own devices on the rocks in the stream. He was bored but patient, intrigued by Sai and his camera but not curious enough to make a move.

His mom was busy .... knew that her 1 year old would be responsible enough. He was. He didnt even want us to entertain him in any way.
I was amazed at the mom and the son. The patience, confidence and attitude was amazing.

The child did cry out though after a good half an hour of wait .... and the mom did come back then. Basket full of fish and mussels. Beckoned the son to start climbing with her and went on their way back to the village.

Lessons to be learned. The patience, the confidence and the attitude .....

Leena

I still look at the window when I come back home because that was your spot - where you used to sit and wait for us to get home and the minute you saw the car, you would be up and all set to welcome us home. I just had to look once at the window and see your excitement and how your entire body shook with your tail to know that I am loved beyond description .....

Its been 4 years ....
I can look at all your pictures and remember those moments, we watch your videos from time to time and twinkle at the memories and joy you bring ....

I think both Sai and I fell head over heels in love with you the minute we saw and held you! That just grew and grew as you did. You are the most amazing Maxi boy ever and we will always be head over heels in love with you!

This year you would have turned 9. A fabulous grand old man you would have made - I wish I didnt have to imagine and that you were here to show me but I do and I know that you probably would have surpassed what I imagine .....

Love you my Maxi boy .... to the moon and beyond......

                                 

Let it rain.....

I love this snap! Clicked with my phone but I think it captures my ideas of the monsoons perfectly!

Ally dressed in her colourful ghagra telling me that she loves the smell of rain and the way it falls on her face was as musical to me as the rhythm of the rain.....

I love the rains and I love the fact that my daughter loves the rains possibly more than I do! I dont remember jumping in muddy puddles but I do that with her a lot.... I dont remember running out into the rain as soon as it started, now we do that without fail almost everytime it rains..... I dont remember walking barefeet in the mud and feeling the squishy, rain drenched earth on my toes and feet, now I do......I dont remember drinking the rain water and relishing it, we do that now and its awesome every single time! We run out and jump and dance like its our first time in the the rain and it is one of the bestest feeling ever! 

I love the rains and my memories of rain are all precious but these moments of abandon with my little rain lover ..... truly priceless.......

Leena

The Sisterhood of Motherhood.......

Today made me think about what it is about being a mother that I love the most. The first thought was how it had made me value my mother a hundred thousand times more. Next thought was of my little ones - Max's head tilt, Cocoa's piercing eyes and Ally's heart melting smile and happiness. The third was how it has connected me so deeply to so many people.... I've an awesome set of friends who are all bound by motherhood and love.

I've become a lot more closer to my mother. In fact, I am also a lot more closer to my father because of motherhood. I understand a lot more about what they do and say. I am veering slowly towards becoming them in fact!
I know why my other mother (mother in law) does a lot of things she does and I learn from her.
I identify a lot more with all my friends who are mothers themselves. I've made friends because of being a mother and those friendships are one of the best things that has happened to me.
This understanding that I have begun to share with everyone is the most amazing things about being a mother - this sisterhood - the bond that connects all of us so deeply......

This awesome thing - being a mother, it has made me a different, better, nice, patient person. It has given me a lot of insight into myself and into every little thing in life. It has taught me to be selfless and enjoy it. It has given me a huge big reason to love and love and love...... and whats even better than giving love? Receiving it.

Trust me its been the most worthwhile journey so far......

Memories....

Its been over 2 years since we posted..... yesterday was 2 years since our maxi boy went to heaven to run to his hearts liking....

I had been thinking of restarting this for a long time now but I wanted to restart with a post about Max and I just could not get myself to do that till today.... even now, my hands are shaking but my eyes are not welling up. They are filled with happy memories of my first baby......

Its taken me 2 years to only be able to smile and laugh and reminisce about him without breaking down over him not being here with us to regale us all the time.... I absolutely miss everything about him - from the way he used to look every morning ( he used to wake up on the dot at 6 am, shake himself and wait for us to open the doors and let him out - the shake was out alarm.) to his head tilt ( he could spell 'walk' and if he heard us say anything about 'walk' or 'talk' or anything rhyming, his ears would perk up and he would do the head tilt to concentrate and figure out if we are indeed taking him for a walk!), the way he slowly and lavishly ate his food ( he used to be very particular and ate slowly whilst cocoa would be done in less than a minute!), the way he used to come and wipe his mouth on our clothes after having his milk ( we used to hate it then! ), the way he had a fixed bedtime and how he used to come and cozy up to us ( he never smelled like a dog - always, always smelled like a baby.... always.) ....... so so many memories.....

The important thing is that I can smile at them now and he will always make me happy whether is he here or not..... he always makes me smile now.... :-)

Leena

To new beginnings..........

I very vaguely remember my first day at school... my aunt had come to drop me off and I remember clinging onto her and literally fighting and scratching off anyone who tried to take me away from her! I settled in very soon and very well in the days to come but I remember the confusion and fright of being left in a whole new place with whole new people very vividly......

Ally's first day at school was completely opposite! Sai and I were with her through the hour and she had a ball! She played in the park, worked with the material, made friends, sang songs, had circle time and ate her snack with all her new friends.

The first 3 days I went with her.... then it was only her going in... she was ok for a whole week and on the 10th day, she had a cold, wasnt feeling too good and bawled her heart out! Her teacher asked me to leave and I did.... with Ally running behind me crying..... it took all my strength to leave her crying for me at the gate and I was almost in tears by the time i reached my car. I had my mobile clutched in my hand the whole time in case they called me from school. I went back in an hour to find my little one happily playing with her friends.... she was absolutely fine and totally enjoying herself!

She loves school now so much that she asks to go even on weekends!  Its a whole new beginning for both of us.... the beginning of independence for her and the beginning of letting her be independent for me..... cheers to both!

Leena 

A lesson learned......

He was more curious than me! I was trying to figure out what was wrong with his one eye and he was trying to figure out what the rectangle with the cylinder contraption covering my face was..... we both stared.

I broke the spell when I clicked his photo, moved the camera and smiled at him. He wasnt impressed anymore. He gave me one last look and ran off to be with the rest of his friends.

He was soo happy and carefree and soo not bothered about his one bad eye. No hang ups and no regrets. He was enjoying his life with absolute elan.....

Got me thinking......such an easy thing to try and do...... a life lesson learned......

Leena



Two of a kind......

The only personality trait my boys share is that they are both incredibly sweet....other than that, there is almost nothing in common in their characters. 

Max is the ultra decent gentleman. He is completely human in his behavior ( except when he meets you for the first time or after a gap because then he is too excited to control himself and is jumping all over the place and on you! ) He is sensitive and very aware and is so so smart that he can spell 'walk' :-) He knows us so well, our moods and our happinesses and shares it all.....he gets very perturbed if Sai and I fight and comes to appeal for peace. He loves fruits but is a very selective eater. He eats only what he likes, apples and grapes without the skin, boiled eggs and milk and chicken! He is my darling baby.....I love his ego (he doesn't like being laughed at), I love the way he sulks (you should see him when hes ill!), I love it when hes all enthusiastic (oh God! the boundless energy!) and he can run as fast as a cheetah! 

Cocoa on the other hand makes you want to pull out your hair in frustration! He is the most lazy, selfish, gluttonous doggy on the planet! He is incredibly smart and decides when and where he should use all his smartness. His favorite activity is to lay in front of the kitchen door and wait for anything to fall to the ground while pretending to be asleep :-)  He is our 'watchdog'....if he hears a noise outside, he barks and barks and goes and calls Max and makes sure Max goes out to check what it is! He loooooves car rides more than walks and he can eat any anything, even banana peels! He adores new toys and he can walk around with both his and Maxis toy balls in his mouth at the same time..... Play time for him means running out to the foyer and then straight back in while Max does 2 rounds around the house. He loves us to bits and is a little baby....he craves attention and is all snuggly. He shows his love by nibbling at us. I cant imagine life without my Cocoa.... as crazy as he is, we all love him to bits! sweetest heart he is! 

I can go on and on about my boys! Now that I started writing about them, I can think of a 1000 and more anecdotes and stories that have made us who we are....... I cant express the amount of happiness they bring us and the way they both have enriched our lives.... my boys are the bestest!

Leena